What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize