She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
