break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
420 ftw
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
