just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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