Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
