No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
