Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
