porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
