D3 body, D1 cock
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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