so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Boobs are out for the taking
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize