did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize