but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
