What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
