im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
