Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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