He is an equal opportunity slut.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
