Are we in a gay sports bar?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
