my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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