I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
