AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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