I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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