i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
