You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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