You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
