ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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