um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
