just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize