well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
