the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
