Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
