If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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