I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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