she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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