You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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