i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
