Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
