i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
