My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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