im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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