My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
