drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
