lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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