Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
