Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
