Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
