Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
