GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
