as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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