worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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