I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
