go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
