I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
