i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
