Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"