Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year