I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
