In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up