when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die