Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
