Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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