Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
