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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from. 

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• (718): View more from New York

  He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.

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