shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
