Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i now understand why vodka
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
