Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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