and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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