trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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