I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
