I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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