found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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