Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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