he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize