I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
