this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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