it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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