she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize