I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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