Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
