Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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