I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
