i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
