there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They took my balls.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Randomize
