She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
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Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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